


Well Schitt

by Basketballer3511



Category: Schitt's Creek, Supernatural
Genre: Crack Crossover, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Fluff, M/M, outside pov, winchest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basketballer3511/pseuds/Basketballer3511
Summary: Dean and Sam visit Schitt's Creek and traumatize some of its occupants.Patrick and David debate whether peanut butter M&M's are a monstrosity and Moira just wants to look at the menu.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Well Schitt

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea stuck in my head and just had to write something for it.  
> Hope you all enjoy the crossover that no one ever asked for.

"Okay Stevie, who were those two guys that just checked in?" Alexis exclaimed, tapping the counter with the tips of her fingers. 

"I don't know. They were guests" Stevie unhelpfully answered, turning the page in her book. 

"And?" Alexis asked, shoulders practically up to her ears in curiosity and excitement. 

"Think they were brothers. Dan and Sam, maybe."

"Brothers?" Alexis murmured, her voice suddenly wary and eyes wide in horror. 

"Yeah?" Stevie asked, finally looking up from her book to take a proper look at Alexis. 

"No, no, no" Alexis stage whispered, touching her neck like a bug had just crawled onto her. "Stevie! I saw them like making out in this dumpy car outside of the motel" Alexis practically shrieked. "I saw their tongues" she groaned. 

"Oh boy" Stevie said out loud, both worried for Alexis and the panic setting in, but also the fact about the two brothers/and or lovers she had just checked in. 

"Boy, I hope Mr. Rose doesn't find out about this" she said to herself. 

* * *

Another town, another motel, and another state the brothers would possibly be hunting in. Except no, they were in frigging Canada, because Bobby owed some dumb Canada living asshole a favor, and Sam and Dean just were sitting around his house and he had to keep them busy somehow, or so he said. 

In Dean's opinion, Bobby just wanted to drink all liquor without two other adult men taking his supply. 

"Dean it's not that big of a deal" Sam sighed, shoving at Dean's leg.

"We are in Canada Sammy! Canada!" he whispered, eyes horror filled as he looked between the road and Sam's face. 

Dean's ramblings of declarations of ill fortune to Canada were paused when he saw a sign with one of the most provocative billboards he had ever seen, with an unhelpful "Don't Worry. It's his sister!" pointed right next to it. 

"Sammy, I think they'll be accepting of our lifestyle" Dean joked, earning himself a glare from Sam that shut him right up. 

"Could've at least chuckled" Dean grumbled. 

Baby's tires drove over the rocky road, entering the motel parking lot, Dean wincing the entire way and promising to clean her tires and get her on American soil fast. 

Dean sighed once again, turning Baby off and looking over at Sam who was staring intently at the research he had printed out earlier. 

"Sammy" Dean said, placing a comforting hand on Sam's thigh. 

Sam looked up, giving a half smile. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Dean asked, raising a brow and giving a childish grin to his brother. 

"Are you thinking about going to the cafe we drove by and ordering yourself a salad?" Sam asked in a mocking tone. 

"Cute. Real cute, bitch" Dean replied, giving the fakest smile he could muster out of his wounded pride. 

Sam chortled and gave a half dimpled smile, suddenly feeling Dean's lips on his. 

"I was really thinking we were going to be fucking in Canada for the first time" Dean told him, carding a hand through Sam's hair. 

"Who says we're doing any of that?" Sam asked, a wicked grin on his face. 

"I'll buy you a million salads and you can eat my french fries" Dean promised, looking hopeful at Sam. 

"I'll have to think about it" Sam said with a contemplative look. He ducked forward before Dean could get too hurt, putting some extra tongue into the kiss to earn the forgiveness he already knew he'd get. 

"So easy" Dean whispered against Sam's lips, but he really had no right to talk considering how red his cheeks had gotten, all from a stupid (okay not stupid, Dean totally was a sucker for making out with Sam) kiss. 

* * *

"We got two new customers today at the store" Patrick told the Roses, pushing the half of his plate filled with fries towards David before he could ask. 

"That's great" Johnny said, smiling at the two and glancing at Moira, hoping she'd offer some encouraging words. 

"Where were them from?" Moira asked, eyes never leaving her menu. 

"We don't know, they said they were just in town for a day or two" David said, finally returning to life after getting some food in him for the first time in hours. Okay, hour singular. 

"What were their names?" 

"How would I know? They literally just bought drinks, fruit, and a pack of Peanut m&m's which by the way is an abomination" David said, scrunching his face. 

"Peanut M&M's are good David" Patrick jumped in. 

"Oh wow, we're going to be breaking up" David replied, glancing wearily at Patrick. 

"Who else will give you all of their fries?" Patrick asked, leaning towards David. 

"Okay fine" David sighed, relenting his smile into the small kiss given by Patrick. 

"Scoot" Alexis said, appearing at Patrick's side. Hurtful hands batting at his arms. David barely had time to get his mouth off his straw before he was pushed into the wall of the booth. 

"Twi, I need like something sweet today. I've had the worst day" she said, addressing the whole table, as she fanned her face. 

"What happened Alexis?" Johnny asked, thick eyebrows cast down in worry. 

"I saw two brothers kissing" Alexis told them, leaning forward to share the secret. 

"Which ones?" Moira exclaimed, awakening from her lull. "The Johnson's? I always had a feeling something incestuous was going on with those two" Moira said with a nod of her head and her voice way too loud for such a private conversation. 

"Ew, no. The guest at the motel. Stevie said Deed and San or something" Alexis told them. 

"Those aren't names" David said, "could you even try and come up with real names?" 

Patrick sat shocked in the middle of the bickering siblings, "wait the tall guys?" he finally asked. 

"Mhm" Alexis said, stealing her dads water and taking a sip from it. 

"Oh god" Patrick said to himself. "The smaller one had his hands all over the other ones ass" he told them, eyes wide in panic. 

"Incest and a bad taste in chocolate? I don't know which one is worst" David joked. 

"Well David, maybe the siblings part and the fact that neither even looked looked at me, even though I look really hot today" Alexis complained. Patrick patted her shoulder sympathetically, sharing a look with Mr. Rose as he did so. 


End file.
